First Crusader Challenge

Today I'm posting my entry in the First Crusader Challenge of Rachael Harrie's Writers' Platform-Building Crusade. In 300 words or less I'm to reveal a secret, a lie, an interesting quirk, an annoying habit, one of my best character traits, and one of my favorite things in the world. The post can be in any format but must use the words "bloviate," "fuliguline," "rabbit," and "blade." Ready? Here goes...

* * *

I woke up to a blade pinching my neck. Two men were leaning over my armchair, their paint-smeared faces just inches from mine.

“Why are you sleeping in the living room with the lights on?” the shorter man asked me. A miniature rabbit's foot dangled from his left earlobe. “It’s three o’clock in the morning.”

“I was writing," I said. "I just dozed off for a minute.”

The tall man pulled his knife away from my throat and folded his arms over his chest. “What are you writing for? Shouldn’t you be baking? You are Mrs. Fields, after all.”

I leaned over the end table and poured myself another cup of coffee. The pot I’d made an hour ago was almost empty. My husband thinks I drink too much coffee, but it’s a habit I’m not willing to give up. “I’m not that Mrs. Fields,” I said. “I’m a writer, not a baker.”

“Honest?” the tall man asked.

“I’m always honest,” I said.

“I don’t believe you,” the short man said. He walked to the kitchen doorway with a fuliguline waddle. “We’re holding you hostage until we get your chocolate chip cookie recipe.”

“But I hate to bake,” I said. “I’m a wordsmith, a creator of fictional worlds, a weaver of…”

“Quit your bloviating!” the short man interrupted. “We just want your recipe.”

I pulled a heart-shaped box from the end table drawer. “I don’t have any recipes, but I do have this box of chocolates I bought myself for Valentine’s Day. Mrs. Fields chocolates are one of my favorite things, but I’ll give them to you if you’ll go away.”

The tall man grinned and grabbed the box. “Well Mrs. Fields, it looks like we got ourselves a deal."

* * *

So, can you guess what my lie is?

Happy Tuesday, everyone!