Tuesday, February 22, 2011

First Crusader Challenge



Today I'm posting my entry in the First Crusader Challenge of Rachael Harrie's Writers' Platform-Building Crusade. In 300 words or less I'm to reveal a secret, a lie, an interesting quirk, an annoying habit, one of my best character traits, and one of my favorite things in the world. The post can be in any format but must use the words "bloviate," "fuliguline," "rabbit," and "blade." Ready? Here goes...

* * *

I woke up to a blade pinching my neck. Two men were leaning over my armchair, their paint-smeared faces just inches from mine.

“Why are you sleeping in the living room with the lights on?” the shorter man asked me. A miniature rabbit's foot dangled from his left earlobe. “It’s three o’clock in the morning.”

“I was writing," I said. "I just dozed off for a minute.”

The tall man pulled his knife away from my throat and folded his arms over his chest. “What are you writing for? Shouldn’t you be baking? You are Mrs. Fields, after all.”

I leaned over the end table and poured myself another cup of coffee. The pot I’d made an hour ago was almost empty. My husband thinks I drink too much coffee, but it’s a habit I’m not willing to give up. “I’m not that Mrs. Fields,” I said. “I’m a writer, not a baker.”

“Honest?” the tall man asked.

“I’m always honest,” I said.

“I don’t believe you,” the short man said. He walked to the kitchen doorway with a fuliguline waddle. “We’re holding you hostage until we get your chocolate chip cookie recipe.”

“But I hate to bake,” I said. “I’m a wordsmith, a creator of fictional worlds, a weaver of…”

“Quit your bloviating!” the short man interrupted. “We just want your recipe.”

I pulled a heart-shaped box from the end table drawer. “I don’t have any recipes, but I do have this box of chocolates I bought myself for Valentine’s Day. Mrs. Fields chocolates are one of my favorite things, but I’ll give them to you if you’ll go away.”

The tall man grinned and grabbed the box. “Well Mrs. Fields, it looks like we got ourselves a deal."

* * *

So, can you guess what my lie is?

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

39 comments:

Brian said...

That's a tough one, do you really like to bake?

Meredith said...

Hmmmm... You really don't like chocolate??

Old Kitty said...

You would never have left a box of chocolates for so long!! Never!!!!! :-)

Take care
x

salarsenッ said...

I'm thinking you do really like to bake. LOL

Bish Denham said...

LOL! The lie? That you hate to bake...or...that you woke up to a blade pincing your neck.

Jen Daiker said...

I'm with salarsen, that you really like to bake. I love reading all the responses, however I think it makes me jaded!!

I'm digging the purple Susan!! Love it!

By the way I need to figure out what this Crusader business is all about! I feel like I'm missing out on something super brilliant?!

Tracy said...

"I leaned over the end table and poured myself another cup of coffee." ??? Why would you have a coffee pot on an end table?
so when are you going to reveal the lie?
that was a fun story~

stickynotestories said...

I think your lie is that you are always honest ;) Since even if another part of the story is a lie it makes that a lie too!

I love your entry - what a great way to do it!

Michelle Merrill said...

What an awesome story! I love the way you presented it. I'm going to go with the fact that there probably weren't two men with painted faces in your house with you in the middle of the night. Just a guess.

Ann said...

I don't think you would have given your box of chocolates to anyone! Especially a tall intruder with a rabbit’s foot hanging from his ear lobe! LOL!

Carolyn V said...

LOL! That was an awesome lie! It the cookie making right? No...the coffee...Okay, I agree with the comment above, you never lie. I'm so confused.

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss susan! that was a cool story and its fun reading those commenter guesses. i know you could like cooking cause you said it on that about me. but maybe you could like cooking but not baking. and i got thinking maybe “I’m always honest,” could be not so true. for sure you gotta tell what it is.
...hugs from lenny

Talli Roland said...

I'm with Old Kitty! :)

Lydia K said...

You must like to bake, right? This was a really fun entry!

The BooKrushers said...

I think the lie is you just fell asleep for a minute. LOL. This was fun!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You don't like Mrs. Fields chocolates or cookies!

DEZMOND said...

oooh, I always love me some stories set in a kitchen :)

Lynda Young said...

You hate to bake

Lynda Young said...

Oh wait! It's you're always honest since you also admitted you put a lie in there. Ha!

Kelly said...

Um...those men really didn't put a knife to your neck? :)
My guess is you don't drink coffee...
Cute!

Theresa Milstein said...

Fun tale! I think the lie is that you really ARE Mrs. Fields.

Glad you're part of the crusade too.

Devin Bond said...

I think the tall man having a rabbits foot earring is the lie. Ew~ What person in their right mind would do that?

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I'm pretty sure you like to bake....but maybe that is a rue. ?

Michelle Teacress said...

I'm hoping the knife to your neck is the lie. But it might be more funny than tramatic since the bad guy has a fuliguline waddle. ;)

Jemi Fraser said...

Love it! Like Michelle - I hope the knife at your neck is a fib!

Ciara said...

Great job. Loved it! The knife at your neck? Ugh, how awful

Deniz Bevan said...

That's a great scene! Hating to bake must be the lie, no? Mmmm, cookies...

Madeleine said...

Great scene. Wasn't sure what was the lie. Maybe someone else gave you those chocs for Valentine's? :O)

Adina West said...

You're definitely a fiction writer. One big lie, beginning to end. :-)

Great entry! And I'm a new follower too.

Lynn said...

I love how you word played with your name! I'm hope the man with the knife is a lie. Nice writing!

tangynt said...

I have to say I'm hoping the guy with the knife is the lie as well. Great stuff~

Hema P. said...

That's funny, Susan! Now, let me guess what your lie was... You love baking and are rather good at it?

Amanda Milner said...

Lol! Good story. Hmm, I will say the lie is Mrs. Fields chocolates are not really your favorite.

Sari Webb said...

Wow this is a good one! I'm going to guess that everything you told about yourself within the story is true, but that the context isn't (two guys never came and held you at knife point for a recipe).

LadyJai said...

Hello fellow crusader! I am a tad bit late, the whole house has been sick all week. So, I just thought I would pop in and just say Hi! :D


Ok, so your link brought me to your reveal. If I guessed now, it would be cheating!

Dan said...

The lie is that you really are Mrs. Fields of cookie fame...okay maybe not. I'll guess that you didn't have to by yourself a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day.

Dan

Witless Exposition said...

I love that you turned this into a story! Lots of fun to read. I'm going to guess that you do have recipes, even if you might not be "that" Mrs. Fields.

J.C. Martin said...

Ooh...Mrs Field's chocolate chip cookies! Yum...

Hello from a fellow Crusader and a Challenge judge! Just to let you know you have been shortlisted in my top 5!

J.C. Martin said...

And here's a second post to say you're my top 2 finalist, and I'll be passing your entry on to Rachael! Congratulations!